Week 18

The beautiful Sonia Polyzos came home from school last week before heading back out for a month and she and I managed to shoot together before she left.

It's been almost an entire year since Sonia and I shot together back at Forest Haven with Jake, and she is even more gorgeous than before.

I also shot a roll of medium format slides and my E-6 chemicals will be arriving this week so I'll have those developed and uploaded in a few days :)

This week's film:

• One roll of expired Kodak Color Plus 200
• Shot on a Canon EOS 630 with a Canon 50mm f/1.2L and a Canon 24-70mm f/2.8L
• Hand developed in Jobo C-41, scanned with Epson Perfection V500

I'm at this point in my life that I would think just about everyone meets more than once. You ask yourself, "I am x number of years old, and what do I have to show for it?"

At that point, you have to ask yourself, "What do I wish I had to show for it?" I think that's where most people lose focus and end up back in the same spot they started in. Most people don't really know what they want in life. They know they want more than they have, but so few people know themselves well enough to know what they want well enough to go out and make it happen.

I'm asking myself what the people around me have accomplished and if I'd be happy with their lives. I look at my parents and ask myself what they have accomplished. They run a highly successful, self-sustained family business. They have lots of nice things and no time to appreciate any of them. I don't want that kind of life. I have an immense amount of respect for my parents not only in what they do to get what they want, but what they have established for myself and my brothers, but I couldn't imagine working 9-5 every day to buy a nice house or nice cars or nice things.


I have been an extremely material person my entire life. I was the baby of my family and, with all due respect to everyone, I have always been pretty spoiled. I asked for something and I usually got it. I was never unappreciative, but I knew from a young age that my parents had the money for the things I wanted. As I've grown older, I take less advantage of the people around me. I earn what I get and I work for what I have, but with age, my desire for the tangible has decreased exponentially.

This is my promise to myself that I will never fall into that cycle. I will never take part on the full-time job to pay the bills lifestyle. I don't want to have bills because I don't want to have things. I want the necessities; food, shelter, clothing, and not a whole lot else, not tangible at least.

I want to spend my life traveling. I want to spend every dollar I ever make on photography and seeing the world. I don't want a home. I don't want somewhere to settle down; perhaps someplace to rest, but I never want to stop. I want to buy an RV and travel the country, I want to step foot on every continent before I die. What the hell is the point of living in a tiny, familiar box? I see no appeal in staying rooted in any one place.

This house will grow old and weary. The cars will stop running and all of our things will one day be useless. In owning lots of things, we have succeeded in thriving in a single spot, but anyone can do that. By traveling, by coming back with stories to tell, I will not have thrived in one place, but everywhere.

Blackheart Reigns / Week Seventeen

I think the only way to be sure that you never dance with the devil is to be sure of who he is. This is the beginning of my attempt at finding out.

I was raised Catholic. We only went to church on Easter and Christmas for the most part, though we had our periods of time when, especially my mother, sought extra guidance through the Lord and we all went to mass every Sunday.

Through my childhood, I slowly began to question Catholicism. I knew, and still know, that I believed, feared and loved God, that Christ died for my sins and that I am saved through the death of Christ, but I didn't agree with Catholic practices. It has always felt more like a business than a faith to me. When it comes to my faith, I believe the only relationships I need to have are with God and Christ, not a priest nor a church.

From a young age, I was intimately fascinated by the occult. I'm not into black magick or anything like that; my fascination comes not from a desire to practice the occult, but from the belief that trusting in God is only half of the battle. You cannot resist sin, temptation or the devil himself without knowing what you're fighting against.

I've spent years of my life researching the paranormal, looking into the science behind ghosts and the basic human principles of good versus evil. I'm left with the conclusion that evil can be measured. Unlike darkness, which is the absence of light, or cold being the absence of heat, darkness can take form, it is an entirely separate spectrum in and of itself. You can prepare for darkness through familiarity of light, you can prepare for cold through knowledge of warmth, but if you're naïve to the entire spectrum of evil, you're the first to fall.

With this shoot, I wanted to channel the other half of my faith; not the part that adores Christ and worships God, but the part that detests and rejects Satan. This is a reminder that you cannot forget whom you are resisting, that the devil may present himself in the most beautiful of forms. If I please God and am accepted into His eternal life, I don't want to silently tiptoe away to safety, I want to greet Saint Peter with horns in my hands.

It's been a long time since I've done this, but a song is meant to accompany these photos.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5amoN_BofI

The main inspiration pulled from the song are the lines

You think this is manipulative?
This is my wrath at its absolute weakest.


I have only just touched upon the concept of evil here. This is only the beginning.

These are digital:

And these are film:

This week's film:

• 1 roll of Tmax 100 shot on a Mamiya C220F with an 80mm f/2.8
• 1 roll of Lomography Earl Grey 100 shot on a Canon EOS 630 with both a Canon 50mm f/1.2L and a Canon 24-70mm f/2.8L
• Both hand developed in HC-110
• Medium format development time at room temperature: 6.5 minutes
• 35mm development time at room temperature: 5 minutes
• Scanned with Epson Perfection V500

Week 16

I shot with Alexandra again today. Katie had a photo assignment for school so they shot for about an hour, came to my house, and we went off to the azalea garden by my house to continue taking photos.

I shot a full roll of 35mm and about half of a roll of medium format slides. I ordered E6 chemicals a couple days ago and they should be arriving sometime late next week so I'll be able to process slides at home now too!

I shot a few digital photos so I'll post those first.

I couldn't decide if I preferred this one in color of B&W so here's both! Haha

On to the film!

I got in one of Katie with her purple hair with the purple azaleas :)

Alexandra finds the best shoes to match her outfits.

This week's film:

• 1 roll of expired Agfa Vista 100
• Shot on a Canon EOS 630 with a Canon 50mm f/1.2L and a Canon 24-70mm f/2.8L
• Hand developed in Jobo C-41, scanned with Epson Perfection V500