I was raised Catholic. We only went to church on Easter and Christmas for the most part, though we had our periods of time when, especially my mother, sought extra guidance through the Lord and we all went to mass every Sunday.
Through my childhood, I slowly began to question Catholicism. I knew, and still know, that I believed, feared and loved God, that Christ died for my sins and that I am saved through the death of Christ, but I didn't agree with Catholic practices. It has always felt more like a business than a faith to me. When it comes to my faith, I believe the only relationships I need to have are with God and Christ, not a priest nor a church.
From a young age, I was intimately fascinated by the occult. I'm not into black magick or anything like that; my fascination comes not from a desire to practice the occult, but from the belief that trusting in God is only half of the battle. You cannot resist sin, temptation or the devil himself without knowing what you're fighting against.
I've spent years of my life researching the paranormal, looking into the science behind ghosts and the basic human principles of good versus evil. I'm left with the conclusion that evil can be measured. Unlike darkness, which is the absence of light, or cold being the absence of heat, darkness can take form, it is an entirely separate spectrum in and of itself. You can prepare for darkness through familiarity of light, you can prepare for cold through knowledge of warmth, but if you're naïve to the entire spectrum of evil, you're the first to fall.
With this shoot, I wanted to channel the other half of my faith; not the part that adores Christ and worships God, but the part that detests and rejects Satan. This is a reminder that you cannot forget whom you are resisting, that the devil may present himself in the most beautiful of forms. If I please God and am accepted into His eternal life, I don't want to silently tiptoe away to safety, I want to greet Saint Peter with horns in my hands.
It's been a long time since I've done this, but a song is meant to accompany these photos.
The main inspiration pulled from the song are the lines
You think this is manipulative?
This is my wrath at its absolute weakest.
I have only just touched upon the concept of evil here. This is only the beginning.
These are digital:
And these are film:
This week's film:
- 1 roll of Tmax 100 shot on a Mamiya C220F with an 80mm f/2.8
- 1 roll of Lomography Earl Grey 100 shot on a Canon EOS 630 with both a Canon 50mm f/1.2L and a Canon 24-70mm f/2.8L
- Both hand developed in HC-110
- Medium format development time at room temperature: 6.5 minutes
- 35mm development time at room temperature: 5 minutes
- Scanned with Epson Perfection V500